thanks for your jiayou!

it's 2 am now. but i can't sleep without saying thanks to all of you out there who has given me your support and well-wishes since Wed. thanks so much! :)

on thursday, one of my bro sent me a text, which really touched me.

he told me he has just read my blog and realised i love the game, so i mustn't give up.

his text ended with "Dun give up.", three simple words that has left an impact on me.

today (Friday), it's our third game for A Div. i'm really gan dong to see my bro-s here. Yogy, jihao and of cos all-time markus edmund and jason. that kind of gan dong. it just can't be described.

special thanks to jihao and yogy! for your effort to come down after class.

i played my hearts out on court. didn slack for a second.

i know i must treasure every moment and opportunity i have to be on court.

i can't let those behind me down.

fortunately, i had some play time today.

i said sorry to my bro-s after the game.

cos although i've given in my best effort, i'm not in the best of my form yet.

i just hope i didn disappoint them :(

i reflected hard on the previous 3 games. i realised there's just this something in me, that has gone missing.

i didn play like the 10 i used to be.

these few days. i've been trying so hard to understand why.

hanging up in the air for a couple of seconds, just under the basket, when nobody's guarding you. and still, miss the shot.

it's not about how many underbaskets you've make sure you put in everyday. it's not about whether you ba3 wo4 the shot with all your might. i'm certain they're not. cos i've put my heart into every shot, they're just so hard-earned and precious to me.

a couple of hours ago, i think, i managed to find the answer.

and the answer, is called Confidence.

Confidence means visualizing the ball go where you want it to go even before you release it.

You want it in, you see it in, you put it in, and it gets in.

the previous year being out of action for season has gave me little confidence and left me with doubts and uncertainty of my play.

and soon, i lost it all, the magic C.

during my reflection just now, i manage to recall moments of my B and C div days.

days when i had the magic C.

laoyang once told me during training that my 中距离 was good.

and from that day onwards, his magic words ran through my mind whenever i take a jumpshot, at the free throw line or the baseline.

it was subconscious, and that's why i just managed, and had managed, to recall this, that had happened several years ago.

this is the Confidence that i meant.

this is the Confidence that laoyang constantly gave me to make me perform.

i'm just an ordinary player, but this C just keeps me going.

that's the magic of it.

and now almost half of the season has passed. i need to find back my magic C.

only then can i play like the Ten i used to be.

it's hard without laoyang by my side.

it's hard to find the Magic C by your own.

the irony for one that lacks confidence, only to find that he has to instill it in himself.

i'll try my best.

for my teammates who've filled me with encouragements. and all of you guys who've given me jiayou-s and smiles.

and, of cos, for my 10.

十二个人的篮球。

过了一年多了，你还好吧？我们当初的约定，你还记得吗？

自从你不在以后，篮球这个世界不再充满着期待与希望。

球无论打得好坏，比赛无论结果输赢，从前的那份喜悦都已不复存在。

每次练完球，打完球赛，心中都有莫名的悲伤。

我想可能是因为你不在。

今天在球场上。我和Markus不知为何一同想起了当年我们并肩上场的情景。

其中一幕仍在我们脑海里记忆犹新。

当初因为他最后一秒的进球，我们才赢了那场球赛。

他还记得that spot.我还记得当初我就站在他的身边。

SzeHan在那边。伟良在那边。Edmund Yogy ZhenRui EC Jason TzinWai Jihao Eric...你们都在那边。

当时在球场上的只有五个人，但我们心里都明白，在打球的有十二个。

那时的我们无论赢球或输球，都在享受存在于这个世界的每时每刻。

但这个世界如今似乎不再是我从前所认识的“篮球”。

今天，想起了这段回忆，我有了新的领悟。

赢球其实不是最快乐的经验，

知道有其他十一个人陪你一起快乐的快乐，

才是真正篮球所能带给我们的快乐。

知道有其他十一个人陪你悲伤的悲伤，

也是幸福的。

我好想你们。

Time flies.

10th October passed by just like any other day. Random moments of emo-ness as usual. but ohwells. i've been used to it, it's my daily routine.

and special thanks to those who showed me your care and concern after reading my previous post. i'm really touched. thanks, i'm fine. life goes on ya.

ohya, i spent this special day with my special 10. feels great to be with ya back again :) haha. but sadly, we're back to reality for now.

you gotta jiayou ya. i'll have to jiayou too. let's work hard together k. and hopefully we could find another intersection some day.

相依的心如何 Say Goodbye.

10/10 十月十号。

在这特别的一天，这篇特别的文章，献给我生命中最特别的十号。

一年了。
三百六十五，是你不在我身边的日子，也是我难过的次数。
我从未忘记你，你还记得我吗。

不知不觉，你离开了我，我也慢慢走开。
不过问彼此的感受，不透露彼此的不愿，
结果是此时此刻的距离。

这是我最痛苦的决定。
不挽留不是不在乎，我只想你过得好一些。
不在我身边的你，能继续做场上的主角。
若你跟着我，只能是场外的配角，可能配角也不是。

球场是属于你的，我要你快乐。

这些日子，我明白了好多。
回忆比拥有更珍贵。
拥有的物品不一定经得起时间的磨练。
但回忆一定是永恒的。

而很庆幸，我们曾一起经历过这么一段美好的回忆。

希望在你心中，我还是你的十号，
因为在我心中，你是我永远的十号。

生命中的导演往往不是自己，
但若有一天我能再次踏上我们熟悉的舞台，
随身携带的，一定是你。

这是我们的约定，
也是我对你的诺言。

写了那么多，其实我只是想让你明白，
我没忘记你，
一直都没有，

我好想你。

十月十日

十号对十号的诺言

公平与不公。

公平与不公其实只有一线之差。

有很多事物往往都在公平与不公平之间徘徊。

正因如此，
这世界上没有绝对的公平，
也没有真正的胜利，
只有成功把不公平的一切，化为公平的赢家。

难过。

我受伤了。
i'm hurt.

从未这么伤心过。

An arduous journey, uphill.

On my way to school today, I thought of rain. and what struck me immediately after that, was the most unforgettable rain in my life.



Once upon a time, there was a team who had no idea how winning taste like, how winning looks like, how winning feels like.

Winning was a term so vague, so unreachable, so fictional.

On their first winning game, the worst thing that could happen did happen dramatically. It rained. But they didn’t rant (like how they do when it stormed during trainings). They looked at the sky, hoping that the rain would stop, to grant them their first win.

It did stop. They played and indeed, they won.

And that rain marked the beginning of a 3-year long tale. An arduous journey uphill.

The rain was the most memorable one in my life.

Not everyone begins from the same starting line. Some are born at those peaks, some among the valleys. That’s not a justification to give up. Cos that’s just life.

And as we climb the mountains, every step we take is about work done against gravity. Bags of responsibilities on our shoulders get heavier, and heavier, and at times, we do put them down for a break.

But did inside us, a break doesn’t mean to give up, it merely means we know the presence of these bag packs lying beside us, and we’re gonna pick them up someday. It’s just a matter of time.

When we’ve finally decided to inch this altitude together again, we’re gonna reach the top, which once seemed to be so vague, so unreachable, so fictional.

If one day we do make it to the peak, it’s gonna be the day when we give those fellow friends who’s been up there all this while a gentle pat on their back.

Pointing to the alluring view of the valleys, and tell them,

-“Hey look. That’s where I came from.”